.. and now what?

don't wanna really talk about my yesterday experience, but i am asking myslef and now what?
i'm scared as i can't realise how big is this moment. is THE moment i'm deciding the rest of my life. i'd like to go back in time, last year for example... it was a hard time last july.. but at least i had hope. hope that maybe x thing will happen. now i am only waiting for an email and meanwhile looking for another solution, as i am convinced that my life is not here. not even in europe. i'd like to be in two places, us and australia. donno why australia.. but i am sure that i'll spend one of my vacations there, as i donno if i could spend my life in such a place.(because it is way too far away)..
oh well..i have to update my CV i guess..